This morning I opened up the card and gift shop I work at, because the manager is sick.
It was all normal routine for about an hour and a half until about 9:45am when I looked out the window to see a man swigging on white wine, looking at a few champagne glasses.
Once eye contact was made he came inside and started chatting to me.
He was so outrageously gay. As camp as a row of tents. Top deck bleached blonde hair ontop a mass of black follicles, metro glasses and a tribal tattoo on his left arm. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong, or strange about that.
But the succeeding straight forwardness of what followed, was...intriguing.
I couldn't quite understand the first sentence he made, but quickly deciphered his combination of early morning wine-breath and typically exaggerated gay accent.
He said something about the Police and that he should have given them a few words, but might have gone to prison if he'd done so.
I just smiled and nodded, looked out the door to see Graham the arcade cleaner giving me the "sucked in, bitch." eyes, and then I asked if I could grab my camera and get a shot of him.
"Why, you gonna show the Police?!
I quickly explained that wasn't the case, but he kept talking at very close proximity to my face and I didn't get the chance.
He then said "But you know I did some time back in the Afghan jails, BUT THE SEX THERE WAS GRRRRREAT! OH BOY I LEARNT SOME THINGS THERE!!!"
"So what time do you knock off."
- ummm, I'm not sure...around...2?
"Well I can come back then and meet you down the end and we could go off into an alleyway and I'll give you a *does a blowjob gesture*!!"
"I'm not kidding, I will!!...SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?"
I didn't doubt him for a second, which made me feel like a stunned mullet.
- uhhhh....man, I don't swing that way.
"AWWW WHAT A WASTE! You'll learn one day when you're older what IT'S ALLL ABOUT!!"
I laughed a little nervously...and asked him what his plans for the day were.
"Ahh I think I'll probably go and see my Sisters grave for the second time."
"She was such a beautiful girl! Want me to show you a picture of her?"
- Yeah, why not.
"Just to give you a warning, she's dead in the photo, and I'm giving her one last kiss."
And that is exactly what he showed me as his phone wallpaper - a picture of him kissing his deceased sister on the cheek.
"I looked after her for a whole year in Afghanistan before she passed away, and my 5 beautiful nieces too."
From there he told me, as I helped him conjure the word 'appreciative' - that even if family piss you off, and get you so angry, that they're the only ones you'll ever truly love.
Bradley is the name he gave me - and to be honest - I didn't/don't know what to think of Bradley.
I mean, yeah - I'm a young guy, who smiles a fair bit...and happened to be wearing a green apron... working inside a gift shop...but do I really look that gay or stupid!!
There's people that will back me up when I say - I'm an old and gay pedophile magnet, whether I like it or not...and as uncomfortable as it can make me feel, I must share the experiences.
And to top off the day, after I finished work I met with a couple of friends and was walking down William Street when I looked into the Hungry Jack's window, and low and behold - was another seedy looking old man, standing up, staring at a news paper with a cold glaze...pinching both his damn nipples. This continued for about a minute before I crept up to the window and put my camera up to my eye and took a picture - but the damned-to-hell response action of myself to trigger to mirror meant I missed his nipple pinching fiasco.
...and ended up with this > [link] < instead.
That pretty much sums up the pinnacle of my strange, strange day.










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JL
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JL
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shit happens have a nice day
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"The only real valuable thing is intuition." A. Einstein
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